Parkinson's / Personal / Religion / Sobriety

The best and the worst of 2013 – PERSONAL

Covering all aspects of my life was turning out to be too long-winded for a single post, so I’ve decided to break it down into different areas of my life: Personal, Political, Arts, and Technology.


The best

God does truly work in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform.

And as I have often observed in the past, what have seemed at the time to be my lowest points have become, in retrospect, spiritual highs, so good comes out of bad.

So Gloria’s Parkinson’s has brought us together, more closely than ever before. And in many ways coping with the disease has been FUN, believe or not.

Walking alongside her as she learns to manoeuvre her electric scooter through the obstacle course that is most roads and pavements, finding out how to get assistance from the rail staff on our long Christmas journey to visit Stephen in his new Dover home, even learning to cook poached eggs (thank you, Elizabeth David) has broadened my horizons.

Also, to my own amazement, in the past year I seem to have achieved a measure of emotional sobriety.

It’s over a year since I even considered taking a drink, and today I don’t even have to resist the temptation.

As the AA Big Book says, we are seeking spiritual progress rather than perfection, and I do seem to be changing.

I have been freed of the emotional/sexual obsessions of previous years, and Gloria and I are closer than ever as a result.

Praise the Lord, from whom all blessing flow!

The worst

The seventh and eighth of the AA promises say that

7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.

I’ve got to say I continue to be self-obsessed.

I still find myself harbouring resentments. I am still VERY angry at way I have been treated by some I thought did love me.

It’s a common experience among addicts, that when they have recovered from one drug (or behaviour) of choice, another addiction rushes in to take its place.

In my case, the primary addiction is to work. I feel definite withdrawal symptoms when I try not to work on the Sabbath.

I identify with people who have eating disorders. It’s comparatively easy to swear off drugs or booze, but we cannot abstain from eating.

For me, either all work is play, or all play is work. It’s what defines who I am. How can I abstain from thinking creative thoughts?

I am still impatient at how long it is taking for me to mature into adulthood.

I know that I was robbed of my childhood at a very early age.

But I prayed to be freed of this memory and received the word that it had been dealt with.

Thank you, Lord.



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